One of the most vital, and usually overlooked, aspects of student ministry is engaging and connecting with parents. While we, as student pastors, often view ourselves as the most effective spiritual influencers of young people, it is actually parents who have the most access to their students. When we are able to effectively partner and support parents, we are going beyond just impacting students — we are able to strengthen entire families. The local church and the global Church will bear incredible fruit when we are able to balance our ministries between students and their parents.
Obviously, engaging parents can be challenging. Families are busier now than they have ever been before. We have all lamented a lack of commitment from our students, but their busyness is merely part of the entire family being busy. Work. School. Sports. Extracurriculars. We haven’t even gotten to family or church yet. How do we overcome those daunting schedules? There is also a bit of a perception among some parents that see student ministry as just being something for the kids. They may not see real value in partnering with you in their students’ spiritual journey. Communication might be the greatest obstacle to engaging parents. We have to ask ourselves if we are communicating well. Finally, there is the matter of relational barriers. Are we growing authentic relationships with parents as well as students?
Here are a few really simple things I have seen to be tremendously effective in engaging parents in a student ministry context:
1. Communicate Clearly and Effectively
Prioritize keeping parents connected on multiple communication platforms. If you think you are using too many forms of communication, think again! I know it would be great to have EVERYONE locked in and paying attention to that GroupMe. The truth is that some parents want an email. They have a routine. They get to the office and check their email. Some parents love being able to scroll back on that GroupMe and value the community. Some parents need to see that Facebook event. While it is a little more work, try to use as many platforms as necessary to connect with your people. Think through what questions a parent might have about an event, and be sure to provide specific information on the front end. Student pastors are notorious for giving vague descriptions of upcoming events. Dare to break that norm!
2. Teach Relevant Studies for Parents and Students
When parents and students are engaged in learning together, the connection grows. You can adapt this to your stage of life. If you are 26 with no kids, you may not be the one best equipped to teach a “parenting teens” class. However, you probably know someone who has walked through that life stage who could connect, though. You may have expertise with social media and technology, worldviews, or relationships that will allow you to have parents and students together in one room, growing together.
3. Create Parent Gatherings Beyond Chaperoning
While enlisting parent volunteers is a huge part of student ministry, it is hard for parents to fully connect to one another if they are always working. You may have the best parent volunteers, but they need to have a moment to talk about life with one another. Try creating a regular time for parents to get together without their teens and without a real responsibility. Gather together at someone’s home and share a meal. Just allow them to talk about life and have an adult conversation. We are all so busy that we forget to just sit and talk.
4. Build Intentional Relationships
Obviously, we all understand the importance of growing real relationships with our students. Keep doing that! We also have to find ways to do the same thing with parents. Challenge yourself weekly to send out a text to that mom and dad who host a small group and thank them. See if that dad can grab coffee and just talk. Go sit with some parents at their kids’ ball games and get to know their story.
Remember that engaging parents is not just an optional add-on but an essential part of student ministry. The better we engage parents, the more opportunities we will have to speak into the lives and hearts of our students!
Josh Raybon serves as associate pastor, youth and education at Eastern Shore Baptist Church, Daphne
